HAPPY NEW YEAR!
*Heh. I just posted the entry with that. Ayaw ba marinig ng interwebs ang thoughts ko?
So basically, I'll just go blab on about random things, things that pop into my head. They may be short, they may be long. You have been warned. Proceed reading with caution. :)
I'm kind of...lost at the moment. I need to regroup. Hence, this exercise of writing, or rather typing, my thoughts. I'll pose a question to future me: why on a blog? on the internet? Where the concept of privacy is rather...you know, questionable. And future me would most likely answer: why the hell not? :) You see, this is part of my resolution for the new year! Yes, these things get broken in a matter of time (some merely hours after making the resolution.) But hey, it's good to have goals, yeah? Which brings me to the aforementioned resolution: I will be more adventurous. However, I will not walk blindly into a situation. (most of the time) I will be more organized and plan things, leaving room for flexibility. I will make this one of the best years I've ever had. This was brought on by the realization that I will be graduating soon. SOON. Time flies by so fast, right? So, I better make the most of things and situations. :) I'll try to be less serious about things but still remember the responsibilities I have. 2011 will be a year to remember!
It's pretty disconcerting that even the most confident person could be defeated by his/her own insecurities. I've had my fair share of those nasty dementors! They eat away at you, like a leech. As stated in Inception, "An idea is like a virus, resilient, highly contagious and the smallest seed of an idea can grow. It can grow to define or destroy you." And insecurities are exactly that: an idea, a virus. Once you have an insecurity, say the way you look, it'll escalate into an even bigger problem if you don't conquer it. It can, quoting Inception again, define or destroy you. That basically means you're screwed either way. So the best thing for a person is to fight against these insecurities. Each time a negative thought about yourself pops into your head, replace it with three positive ones. I read that somewhere, though I can't remember where. Thank you, oh anonymous author! But I digress. We must fight and not let these negative thoughts rule us. Of course, it's okay for the occasional pity session. But we should get over it before it becomes part of our daily lives.
I'm scared. I'm scared I'm making the wrong choices. I'm scared of the feeling that I'm losing myself. I'm scared of what might happen. I kinda need a big ol' helping of Gryffindor courage. This frustrates me so much.
ETA: I really get annoyed when people focus on the trivialities. Especially if I do it myself. Will the fact that I haven't done something that isn't that important matter in a few years? When something is urgent to someone, it doesn't necessarily also mean important. Right now, I could really care less about that. Truly. I understand your reasons. But the way you asked me for it feels like I've done some sort of injustice by not doing it at once. I may lack urgency on things like this but it's only because I know to place my urgency on things that really matter. (most of the time)
I kinda need to stop. So there. I tried making it a positive one and it ended up being...something else. So, yey! Haha. Who knows, this might be a delayed response to the stress I encountered. Or a delayed reaction to the wine and margaritas. Heh. Or it's just me having an off day. Who knows? >:)
Cheers for a supermegafoxyawesomehot 2011!
