Musing No. 1495209: on love, relationships and the whole shebang

Hi, I'm Nina, 19 years old, female, and I've never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, never been in love.

Before I go on, I'll let you in on why I've suddenly been thinking about this. First, there was the wedding of my cousin and his girlfriend that showed me a happy couple, so ready to take the next step in their relationship. Next, everyone seems to pairing off! And little, ol' single me has been left alone. [Cue the awwwwwws and the 'hirit' "bitter!"] Last, lately, my hand's been feeling cold, like it wants someone to hold it. [Ngek!]

Now on to my dilemma or "drama".

I've been kind of oblivious to the signs of flirting or if the guy is into me. Unless someone points it out, I won't notice. True story. This is because I don't like ASSUMING, I mean, who does? But I'm kind of a hypocrite, in the sense that I do assume sometimes. Like recently, I met someone and from our conversation, I thought he was into me. Sorta. :)) I'm not really sure. But it was a confidence boosting conversation. Haha!

Anyway, I think another problem is that I don't want to get hurt. Another common fear. Nobody wants to get hurt unless he/she is a masochist. But I digress. I guess I'm too scared to take a risk. And I've realized that other people feel the same too. But I've got to thinking that, if he/she is worth it, wouldn't you take the risk? I mean if you do, at least, whatever happens, you tried. So what if you get embarrassed? You won't spend the rest of your life thinking, WHAT IF.

Another thing is, I think the vibe I give off is another factor. Haha! A friend once told me that when he first met me, he was intimidated. Later on, other friends tell me that at first, they thought I was "mataray". Rawr. This led me to a decision: SMILE more. =)) I think, my default setting should be "NOW SMILING." Rawr.

Lastly, I don't know if I'm actually ready to have a relationship! My parents, of course, have set the "no boyfriend til after college" rule. But aside from that, I'm kind of scared and hesitant yet I want one. Rawr. But as a friend told me "You have to learn to love yourself first." And so, that's what I'm gonna do. Haha!

For now, I'll hold my own hand. Of course, not literally. People might look at me weirdly.

1st Day of 1st Term of 3rd Year :D

I'm keeping this short since I'm sorta sleepy. Haha! It was an okay first day. There were lots of people and it was noisy in Central since the CAO groups were recruiting. Chorale was absent from the booths, I think. They're in Europe/USA eh :)) Sosyal noh? :)

Anyway, I had 2 subjects today: DOCULMG (legal research and thesis proposal) & LEGAWRI (Legal Writing). DOCULMG was sorta okay. The prof seems cool so far; another one of those DLSU for pre-law+Ateneo Law school graduates. Hahaha! But seriously, +0.5 in the final grade if you have perfect attendance? Score! :D It's nerve-wracking lang. 2 defenses! One for the legal memorandum and one for the thesis proposal. :| Err.

LEGAWRI was an experience. We were only 3 students in the class. :)) Parang special class lang no. Haha. I'm really hoping the section won't be dissolved. But they said they've transfer some students from the first class to the second class so it'll work out. :P We were dismissed early though. So score? Haha downside was mom had stuff to do pa so I couldn't go home yet.

After classes, I had dinner in Reyes Bbq with LSPO peeps. :) And California Berry <3>

As I said, it was an okay first day. I lacked sleep so maybe that had an effect on my mood. :) Eh, it's a start right?

Good night, friends. :)

FTK: For the Kids 2010 :D

It was my first time to attend FTK. Hindi kasi ako aware last year, ang fail. :)) Anyway, this is gonna be short but in no way less meaningful. And medyo antok na me so short nga talaga! Hopefully, it still makes sense!

I love my kid. His name's Chandler. And I was right na they got the name from FRIENDS. Kasi fave daw ni Chan-Chan yun. :) And I saw my kid kanina, it broke my heart to see him so scared of the drums. Severe autism kasi. Medyo sensitive sila sa mga ganung noise. So we had to bring him away from there and find another way to get into the field. Basta, super heartwarming ang experience kasi I really saw the love Chan-Chan's father and older brother had for him. And super na-touch ako kasi aalis na sila and sabi ng dad niya "Catholic ka ba?" and I said yes. And he gave me this parang paper weight na may picture ni Jesus. Sabi niya salamat daw sa time and sa hindi pagiging takot sa kanila. And ayun. Natouch ako super. Kasi di ko yun ineexpect. And ayun. HAHA I'm so articulate noh? :P

Hahaha ayan. Basta yan. As I said sa status ko sa facebook, FTK was tiring. Pero worth it. :) :')

Good night friends. :)