Merry Christmas, darlin’! :D

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE

Haha. Medj late. But yeah. =))

Yun lang. Will post a better blog come New Year’s

xoxo,

NC

Musing No. 1495209: on love, relationships and the whole shebang

Hi, I'm Nina, 19 years old, female, and I've never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, never been in love.

Before I go on, I'll let you in on why I've suddenly been thinking about this. First, there was the wedding of my cousin and his girlfriend that showed me a happy couple, so ready to take the next step in their relationship. Next, everyone seems to pairing off! And little, ol' single me has been left alone. [Cue the awwwwwws and the 'hirit' "bitter!"] Last, lately, my hand's been feeling cold, like it wants someone to hold it. [Ngek!]

Now on to my dilemma or "drama".

I've been kind of oblivious to the signs of flirting or if the guy is into me. Unless someone points it out, I won't notice. True story. This is because I don't like ASSUMING, I mean, who does? But I'm kind of a hypocrite, in the sense that I do assume sometimes. Like recently, I met someone and from our conversation, I thought he was into me. Sorta. :)) I'm not really sure. But it was a confidence boosting conversation. Haha!

Anyway, I think another problem is that I don't want to get hurt. Another common fear. Nobody wants to get hurt unless he/she is a masochist. But I digress. I guess I'm too scared to take a risk. And I've realized that other people feel the same too. But I've got to thinking that, if he/she is worth it, wouldn't you take the risk? I mean if you do, at least, whatever happens, you tried. So what if you get embarrassed? You won't spend the rest of your life thinking, WHAT IF.

Another thing is, I think the vibe I give off is another factor. Haha! A friend once told me that when he first met me, he was intimidated. Later on, other friends tell me that at first, they thought I was "mataray". Rawr. This led me to a decision: SMILE more. =)) I think, my default setting should be "NOW SMILING." Rawr.

Lastly, I don't know if I'm actually ready to have a relationship! My parents, of course, have set the "no boyfriend til after college" rule. But aside from that, I'm kind of scared and hesitant yet I want one. Rawr. But as a friend told me "You have to learn to love yourself first." And so, that's what I'm gonna do. Haha!

For now, I'll hold my own hand. Of course, not literally. People might look at me weirdly.

A day of love & tikoy :)

Happy Valentine's Day & Kung Hei Fat Choi! :)

February, oh February, you are so eventful and it's only been half the month.

With everything that's been happening, my friends have been there to tease, give advice, and be there for me. :) So, love love love you guys. :)

I'm partial to this version but Billy Crawford & Nikki Gil's version is okay and I've been posting that James Taylor everywhere so :) hahaha :)

Friends,

Don't you know that winter, spring, summer or fall, all you got to do is call and I'll be there. You've got a friend. :)

Ciao :)

Goodbye January 2010! :)

Whoa. Time flies. It's already January 31st! End of the 1st month of 2010. What has happened so far? Well, it truly is a new year with a lot of new experiences, opportunities and happenings.

On the love life front (syempre inuna. hahaha para tapos na!) : ask and it will be given. Like they say, be careful what you wish for. Wuh. There are developments that I'd rather share in person. :) Pero no, wala pa akong boyfriend. :) It's just ang daming firsts! First time makatanggap ng chocolate from a 'secret admirer', first time may umamin..and others I'd rather not mention. Hahahah! Nakakagulat lang :)

On the academic front: I love my professors & subjects this term. Except for one, because of something that happened recently. Wahaha. But I love my professors. They make the subjects bearable. I'm having fun. Yes, I say that now. But once midterm/finals come along, I'll be in a dark mood. Wahahaha! Pero we never know :D Plus, my classmates in each subject are fun to be with. :)

On the other activities front: I'm secretary, replacing Dessa who's replacing Ate Maan. Unexpected. I've never held a position like this before. So, it's kinda scary. I promise to do my best though. To balance this, my school work and other stuff. :) Kaya-ble :D hahaha

Gigi's debut! :D First debut I attended this year. Wahaha! :) Mga kakilala ko na nandun were Lolo Don & Kuya Kristian, mybro :P Aaand Calvin, Harri & Cai, Gigi's blockmates & mga choir :)) It was nice :D Simple & heartwarming :)

Presidential forum last Friday! :) It's a shame I didn't get to go into the auditorium. Major fail. Pero watching it in the green screen in school is different from watching it at home. I got to see backstage stuff :)) I'm leaning towards Gibo though. :)

Recruitment week just ended and wow. We had a total of 90 sign-ups! But so far, only like 40+ have submitted the application forms so let's see what happens. :)

Okay so that isn't everything that happened this month. Hahaha more like what happened last week. Pero can I just say though, that I'm super grateful for the friends & family that I have. :) They make life more fun, more colorful & enjoyable. They keep me grounded and are there when I need a hug, someone to talk to, and someone to be crazy with. Thank you!

And to end this, I share with you the reading in Mass kanina :D Yehess, meh ganun diba! :)) Because this month was full of love & happiness for me.

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

(1 Corinthians 13:4-13)

Here's to the end of a great month! :) And on to the beginning of a new one! :) Tamang-tama! February! Month ng pag-ibig! =)) Things to come: RENT, Baccalaureate mass & graduation of friends, Taize Pilgrimage of Trust, the ballet thing Yvette & I are gonna watch for HUMAART. :D And I'm sure there's many more. Hahaha! ~Peace!

12.23.09

Wooh, it's been a week since I last blogged. And that blog was rather emo. Haha! A lot can happen in a week. And boy, was that week a busy one.

One: Finals ended! Woot woot! I officially kissed 2nd term goodbye on the 17th. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Plus, this was the term where I found the drive to study well and hard again. This was the term where everything, academic wise, became right. Super feeling ko talaga na this was the term where I grew more as a person, a student, a friend.

Two: LSPO Outreach and Christmas Party. It was fun! Super. The kids were wonderful and bibo. Flashback to STC days when it was PALIHAN day. The Christmas party was great as well. When I'm in the office, nawawala stress ko because of the people around me. :') Super na-touch din ako sa award na nakuha ko: YoungStar award. Coordinators, thank you po sa pagvote sa akin doon. Salamat sa paniniwala, sa mga advice at lahat-lahat na. LSPO friends, you never fail to make my day. Super happy ako na napunta ako sa office. Sabi ko nga, 2009 was a year of major downs. Pero sa lahat ng bad experiences na iyon, nandyan ang mga tao sa office and of course my other friends for me. The good times outweigh the bad times, making them more bearable. Thankful talaga ako na God led me to the friends and family I have. Ang cliche pakinggan pero I would be a different person if I hadn't met you. :)

Three: GH with Tiff, Gela, Patrick, Jen, and Jemmie! Super sayang na di ako nakapunta sa block Christmas party. :( C33, my accounting block, nakakamiss kayo. :) You were the first friends I had in DLSU, syempre kasi kablock. I'll never forget the times we had and the friendship we shared, even if sometimes it seems like I don't appreciate it. Alam kong may pagkukulang ako minsan, pero sana friends pa rin tayo, kahit di tayo masyadong close. Magiging different din ang buhay ko pag hindi ko kayo nakilala. Kaya kahit 'di ko trip ang accounting, nagpapasalamat ako na I chose to enter DLSU as a BSA student. Kasi kung hindi, super iba ang feeling ng Frosh days ko. :)

Four: Ninang Dits and Angel arrived from the States! :D Wee. Excited. We ate a big lunch in Vista Real at Ama&Aba's place. Uncle Fred, Tita Gretchen, Meg and Siobe were there as well. :) Super sarap ng chocolate caaaake! Woot woot.

Five: White Christmas: The IV-3 Christmas party. Kaka, Dede, Pepe and I had our own little party in the morning. We exchanged gifts, had feelings hour and ate lunch at this Persian place in Katips. I had to leave kasi may choir practice sa school and Kuya Don's promise. Wahaha salamat for that. :) Pero I went back to the party, despite traffic! And when I arrived, I expected like mga 20+ people. Pero konti lang kami ah! :)) Still, fun pa rin. With the singing bee game and the impromptu dancing of Nobody. Hindi ko pa nakikita ang tag na video sa facebook so safe pa rin. Hahaha! Nakakamiss din ang high school friends and days. Kasi sa mga times na yun, super simple lang ng buhay. Pero no regrets. :) IV-3, not one less! ;)

Six: DLSU Institutional Christmas Celebration! Woot! First time ko. :) Kasi di ako nakapunta last year. Anyway, nakakatuwa! Super. Br. Armin called the mixture of staff and youth choir the "DLSU Philharmonic Orchestra" :)) And the choir was great during the mass! Woot woot! Web high five! Good job guys! :) We watched the presentation and ate food. Haha. Tapos, after I went to consult my grades, kasi NGS pa yung 2 subjects ko that time, pumunta kaming Glorietta/Greenbelt ni Ate Mei and Kwen. *edit: FNB! :)) (I thought it was NBF, silly me.) We went Dora the explorer-ing din. Hahaha! Bonding moments! Woot woot. Met up with Ate Dhang, Ate Danna, Ate Badette, Kuya Kristian and Kuya Jods. Haha! Nakakatuwa talaga. :)

And today, I had my hair trimmed and some other stuff sa salon with Ninang Dits, Angela, Mom and Toni. Pero I went home afterwards kasi I felt medyo sick. :( Boo.

With Christmas and the end of the year drawing near, I can't help but reflect on the year that was 2009. Maybe I'll do a more detailed version of this reflection on New Year's Eve. Pero the gist of it is: This was the best year ever, despite the not so good things that have happened. :)

Sorry for the medyo not organized blog. Am now off to rest. :)

And just in case I won't be going online on Christmas day:

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

12.16.09

Alam mo, minsan lang talaga there are moments where I get into this self-pity party mode. This is when all my insecurities come bursting out of the chest I buried them in deep. This is when everything bad decision I've made or recently made, I think about. This is when I think about the friends that have come and gone in my life: whether they left or I left or we both gave up on each other. This is when I compare myself to others and like feel worse. I'm usually in a bad mood. Who wouldn't be?

But then something happens after this self-pity party that makes me feel better. Whether it's an unexpected text or something from a friend I haven't seen in a long time or a friend that just found something interesting to say about my status in Y!m. Basta. Palaging may something great na nangyayari after my self-pity party. And usually I get back on my feet. I feel more confident. And then the cycle starts all over again. I'm pretty sure it's part of being human to feel that way sometimes. There really are moments where you can't help but be "emo". Especially when it's cold or raining, like a friend pointed out. But still, bad vibes mehn. :|

What brought this about? The latest pity party? Something about my sister and boys and friends and putting that together. Single since birth ako. That's a fact. That's a given. And almost everyone around me seems to be falling in love, having MUs, are in the getting there stage, etc. (Classify yourself, I dare you. hahaha!) What I'm thinking sounds so pathetic to me. Pero still. I've been dreaming for a long time, waiting for a long time. When will it happen for me? Ted Mosby expresses it perfectly for me.

Ted: Okay, I'm going to say something out loud that I've been doing a pretty good job of not saying out loud lately. What you and Tony have, what I thought for a second you and I had, what I know that Marshall and Lily have, I want that. I do. I keep waiting for it to happen. I'm waiting for it to happen and I guess I'm just tired of waiting. And that is all I'm going to say on that subject.

And what Stella replies to him is exactly what he and I need to hear.

Stella: ...I know that you're tired of waiting. And you may have to wait a little while more but, she's on her way, Ted. And she's getting here as fast as she can.

Pero ano, hindi she yung akin. :))) Sobra ng one letter. :P

Anyway, I'll stop thinking about this muna. Really. I'll focus on some other things na lang muna. Agenda 1: See if it's possible to enroll in Trumpets Musical Theater again this summer. I really miss it na. :)

1 exam to go. amf. tinatamad na akong mag-aral. hahaha!